May 22- June 1: Cycle Three

After a week's delay, cycle three was able to happen on May 22, 23, and 24! It was lonely not having Eric there with me. Not that we talked all day or played games during the other treatments but he was there to kiss my head, hold my hand, crack a joke,etc. I was certainly in the treatment room the longest of anyone that day so it was a good thing i was advised by the nurses which chair was the best. I was the first patient there and the last one to leave! Not sure what all the other patients were having done but it seemed like they would show up, have a snack and leave! The second hardest part about sharing a treatment room…… wearing a mask for seven hours straight! Kinda gross! 🤢 In any event…. the nurses were great and my doctor stuck to the Mayo plan right down to how they gave me my pre and post fluids. I had the usual nausea, bone pain and fatigue but it did not seem much worse than the first two cycles so thats good. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My oncologist decided that since my neutrophil levels had dropped so much, and even more than after cycle two that we would proceed with injections to boost bone marrow production prior to the next cycle. Naturally the insurance did not want to cover the more expensive long acting med that I mentioned in my last post, since I had not “tried and failed” on a daily injection first. So we get to play there game again. The problem is that With short acting daily injections we need to know when to start them. Last week I had to go for the first of tri weekly blood tests to catch the day my neutrophils start declining. At that point I will start giving myself daily injections in hopes that my neutrophils do not go to zero again and that My last cycle of chemo will not be delayed! My neutrophils on Friday were (not surprising, mine drop about a week after they are “supposed” to) good but my hemoglobin and hematocrit were lower than they had been throughout all this. Always something right?! 

Despite having multiple scans and blood work the past six months, I still have go for my routine cancer screenings and today was my well women exam! The fun never ends!l I gave the lab at the gynecologist office a good scare when they checked me for anemia this morning!  Although not at transfusion level yet.... I dropped even more from Friday and I am sitting pretty at 9! (Normal hgb level for female is 12-16)

Hemoglobin is the protein inside red blood cells. It carries oxygen. Red blood cells also remove carbon dioxide from your body, transporting it to the lungs for you to exhale. Low levels of hgb cause shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, dizziness and fatigue. 

On a positive note my sodium is still rocking out between 138 and 141. My GYN was fascinated with my diagnosis and had a ton of questions. She too had never heard of this cancer.  She was so super kind and empathetic! When we met in her office she inquired about my emotional and mental health with everything.   

These questions are not uncommon for me. Every appointment at mayo started with “How is your emotional health and well being?” “Do you feel stressed or anxious?” Even at the new oncology office they always assess for depression and mental health. 

 I am not sure she believed me when I said was doing really good. I tried to explain (in not so many words) that I am aware that there are stages of dealing with a diagnosis of cancer and that the most important one now  is not Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression or Acceptance, Its Survival! There is plenty of time later for all the Real stages. But now its survival mode! Push through! Fight or flight! Whatever you want to call it, but its the not lay down and take stage!

 The truth is I am ok, because if I weren’t then cancer would win. Sure I have some bad moments! I had one this weekend over my hair.....I miss my hair!  I went to “brush it off my shoulder” and tuck it behind me ears multiple times the past few days and it was not there 😔. (However.... snap chat filters are super fun when bald!) I miss my energy! Yes I walk everyday and keep busy because it helps with the pain and nausea but I do end up having to take little power naps just to get through the day. And lately I worry, which is new. Its not an agonizing debilitating worry, its a ‘oh hey wait a second’ worry about the cancer reoccurring and That is just silly because I know the only thing to fear in life is fear itself. With lack of information and research available on my cancer we were never given statistics on survival and recurrence we were just assured that with surgery, radiation and chemo I am expected to do very well and live cancer free. They did say the longer we go without recurrence the less likely it will reoccur. 

I suppose to answer my GYNs question, we will see how “ok” I actually am through all this in July or August or maybe September after my first post treatment scans. 🤔 

Blah. Blah. Yada yada yada! Tomorrow I go for more blood work to A. Check my hgb and B. See if my neutrophils are on the decline yet. More info to follow! PS.... cant believe I have been home for a month already!!!!!!

Chilling alone for cycle 3

Finally out to dinner!

Snap chat fun

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